Perception of Faith

A visit to the Parish Church in Maria Anzbach was on my top to-do list when I revisited Austria.  

In my experience, whenever someone speaks freely, proclaiming a spiritual connection or stronghold to their faith, there are almost always three varied reactions to the ones spoken to. First, there are the over-excited ones, yeah you know the type, the ones shouting their ‘Halleluiahs' and ‘Praise the Lord' to the highest heavens; the ones who would agree with everything the other person had to say about God, unknowingly making others feel uncomfortable, sometimes even nauseated in the process. Second, there are those who would gladly listen with an open mind, who are genuinely grateful for the thought-provoking conversation, quietly soaking up whatever insight they may derive from it. Still, there are others who wouldn't be bothered, couldn't care less even, thinking religion is all some nonsensical, hyped-up mumbo jumbo out to get you or your money to their camp.

For me, having a stronghold to faith isn't something I shy away from. I've realized from an early age how religion has shaped the very core of my being -- making me the person I am today. My faith is something that I am very proud of and is very close to my heart. No, I'm not one of those who over-exult in their praises to God, (not that there's anything is wrong with that either); I just prefer to say my prayers in my own time, and in my own way. My connection to HIM has always been personal, and I'd like to believe it to be a strong one too. I am, however, not one to insist my beliefs on anyone. 

“I think that one’s faith shouldn’t be influenced, practiced or forced upon by anyone else other than one’s principles.”

All the women who are dear to me have or had a secure connection to God. My mom, for instance, attends mass every day so long as her health (and weather) allows her to do so. My favorite aunt, Tita Baby, and grandmother Lola Itchay, who, I'd like to believe, now rests in peace and presence of God, both had firm conviction of their faith.  I also have dear friends whose friendships were strengthened with the same core beliefs who I fondly call my Women of Faith. Growing up in this environment has allowed me to nurture my faith and appreciate the many lessons I've learned from it.

My favorite act of prayer is attending mass. Cliché as it may sound, I find peace in the ceremony coupled with the words of scripture. More often than not, I see myself communing with God amidst the people present. On the other hand, being ‘touched' by spiritual felicity doesn't only happen within the confines of the Lord's house -- I find it almost everywhere -- in billboards, movie dialogues, casual conversations, and even books! There is no shortage of spiritual resources anywhere; it just shows itself whenever it's deemed necessary, depending on life's given situation.

More often than not, I feel a sense of calm whenever I attend mass and receive the Holy Eucharist. 

There have been numerous instances in my life where when faith has proved itself to be a definitive guiding force.

Yes, I believe in being in charge of your own destiny, it is, after all, your life; but somehow, at least in my life experience, certain circumstances pop out of nowhere that steers you to a whole different direction altogether. Sometimes it's for the greater good, despite the difficulty, and other times it's for you to learn a valuable lesson. Either way, the reason for it happening may never be understood. There are also times that the new direction leads you to scary, unfamiliar territory, where you can't even begin to fathom the reason for being there in the first place. It's during these times that I just submit myself to wherever HE wants me to go.

I've also always been surprised at how one's faith managed to suddenly blossom overnight -- whose lives were magically moved by experiences that made them realize that there is a higher being out there.  Take, for example, my late father. In his youth, he was not religious; in fact, I'd remember him delaying us going to mass until after the sermon was over. He always said it took too long. But with my mom's persistence, he ended up joining us to mass anyway. Honestly, I don't even think he saw any sense in it, and later gave up going altogether.

It wasn't until recently, several years before my father's passing, that he somehow accepted that faith was not just imagined, not some witchcraft that you can conjure up to make things right again ...

... faith is real. It's real to those who openly accept it in their life.  

It was my dad's spiritual journey that stirred me. Here was a man, once a man of the world, suddenly surrounding himself with icons and figures of holy images ... and actually liking it! Later, my father became a devotee of Our Lady of Caysasay in Taal, Batangas. I don't quite know how it all began, all I remember was he became fascinated with Our Lady and went about distributing her figurines and blessed oils to friends and family as well as making frequent visits to Taal.  Subsequently, my dad told me about a book that he read that later became a movie adaptation. The book was entitled ‘Heaven is for Real.'  At first, I was surprised that my father even mentioned reading such a piece, I was used to his action-packed selection of Robert Ludlum and the like. He wouldn't dare touch the stuff had he been only ten years younger.

I'll make one thing clear though, my father was no saint – in fact, to those who knew him very well, he was to a great extent, far from it. But what happened to him and his experience in Taal brought about a change in him, a move that allowed him to open his eyes and accept certain things that were happening in his life.

No, my dad's experience didn't turn him into some preacher, a holy man who can do no wrong, because in the end, we are only human and we (quickly) succumb to the failures and limitations of our being.

Whether my father lived a holier life in the eyes of God after that experience, we will never know, but his acceptance of faith made an impact. It's much easier to believe some scientific reason lies behind happy events such as a promotion, good health, or passing that dreaded exam with flying colors. More often than not, one would attribute that to luck, chance or even destiny, hardly ever, unless you have a semblance of faith, will you credit the favorable circumstance of life's existence to belief and/or gratitude.

My mom introduced me to The Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a monthly devotion that I've started in High School and still continue to this day.

Don't get me wrong; being pious will not always result in that cookie-cutter, goody-two-shoes everyone appears to be before the tabernacle. Quite the contrary, the holiest of men often have a more sinister approach to life.  Being a good person doesn't lie on how kind or generous you are, it's how you treat others and what your intentions truly are – with or without religion. Let's face it, even the very best of us don't even know or recite the ‘Our Father' anymore. We all have our own interpretation of what it means to be a good person. Religion may just be another stepping-stone to a path of virtue. 

“I’d like to think that faith somehow allows us to forge a bond with the Almighty, an acumen that enables us to live life to its fullest, accepting trials and tribulations as they come, no matter how confused, no matter how broken we are inside.”

My faith has moved me in more ways than one, even in the bleakest of times. I've learned that in life's darkest circumstance, the brighter the stars shine in your life – family, dear friends, and most especially ...  faith.

Tell me, has spirituality moved you in your life?